The month of October.

Lately life hasn't been easy. 
I've had to deal with my always-absent mother while taking care of my two little siblings. Even with that responsibility of being a second "mom", I've been running a business for almost a year now. I've juggled school, grades, money situations, relationships, and bad decisions. Yeah, life can get pretty hectic really quickly but I can't complain because happiness has come out of all those things.

Recently, my grandfather had checked into the hospital again - this time because of a small heart attack. My family is extremely close and important to me, so this has worried me a lot. On top of that, I've met the greatest people this past year and one of them has become extremely close to my heart but even with that, I still struggle to be a good friend to them. I've been stressing myself to death, losing so much sleep, and feeling like my head isn't even there.

Don't get me wrong though, I am so blessed to have a family, friends, a roof over my head, and an amazing community of people from all over the world which I get to talk to every day .. but sometimes I get greedy and I feel like I need more than that; I find myself needing to be happy again; genuinely happy because the stress has been eating me from the inside out.

I'm lucky though, to have friends that I can lean on when I'm at my worst. Although I do feel like such a big burden, I know that they're there for me whether they're residing in Australia, New Jersey, Arizona, or even England. I have support and I have someone who's there to listen to me when I cry. They deserve much more happiness than I can offer. Heck, they deserve all the happiness the world has to offer. 

In the end, I am blessed, I am happy, and I am loved.
10/16/12